Tonight the husband and I got a serious hankering for some diet coke. So, we decided to take an evening walk down to the grocery store before dinner.
It is quite ironic that we have three (yes, three) cars, yet we walked to the grocery store. But I love our walks. With the husband working evenings on our business, we don’t have as much time for them as we used to. I miss them.
Once we got there, I sat outside with Olive, while he ran inside for the goods.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about contentment. I am the world’s worst about getting in too big of a hurry all the time. While I love the idea of slowing down and enjoying life as it is now, I don’t practice it very often. I’m always wishing for the next thing. Always thinking that things could be just a little bit better if only…
Lately I’ve really been struggling with this, and the last couple of days I’ve actually been able to recognize how detrimental this is to my life. I count myself very blessed to be in the stage of life I’m in. I’m so thankful that Jon supported me in leaving my job so that I could pursue what I’m passionate about. And I’m tired of surrendering to discontentment and allowing fear to defeat me. I’m slowly starting to realize something about myself – I’m afraid of being successful. I think that part of my discontentment at this phase of life is due to not allowing myself to succeed.
I allow three things to defeat me on a daily basis: procrastination, being paralyzed by fear and making excuses. I’m still diligently trying to figure out why I allow these things to interfere with my goals and dreams, but I’m working on taking steps toward overcoming them.
The other night Jon and I laid awake for hours, him letting me hash out every angle of this struggle. I’m so thankful that he pushes me to challenge myself, to take myself to the next level, and most of all to believe in myself. I don’t know why he believes in me as deeply as he does, but sometimes that’s what keeps me going. Before we went to bed that night, he walked me into our office and made me put down my new commitment on our chalkboard closet door. Everyday when I see it, it reminds me that I really am stronger than I think I am.
side note – the coloration on this pic is way off. Our walls are not bright yellow:)
It’s so normal in the blog world to always focus on the positive, and I really don’t want to be a downer, but surely I’m not the only one who struggles with this? Am I alone in being my own biggest obstacle to achieving everything I want for my life? Sometimes I just ask myself “why are you procrastinating on the things you care about most?” “Why are you not focusing your intentions on the things that are most important?” “And why do you spend more time wishing for things in the future, rather than living in the present?”
So that’s me lately.
And so as not to leave on a dreary note, here’s some amazing fall food that has been warming me through and through:)
Making homemade pizza crust
The best thing about this crust was the process of making it. There’s something therapeutic about making homemade bread.
Unfortunately it was a total fail. I used too little yeast and didn’t let it sit long enough + I used all spelt flour when I probably should have incorporated in some white flour.
Even with leftover veggie spaghetti sauce from the other night and shredded vegan cheese, it still tasted terrible.
The side of broccoli saved the day! Sprinkle on a little sea salt, and you’ve got yourself heaven on a plate.
I also used that same leftover homemade spaghetti sauce in a mix with kidney beans and sauteed swiss chard. All piled on a tiny bed of pasta. The sauce was definitely the star of this show.
I take that back. The kabocha squash ruled again! I seriously cannot get enough. I actually bought a whole ‘nother one this afternoon. I’m thinking maybe soup this time…
Yes, I think soup could be just the thing.
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