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finally a mama

today was such a sweet day.  every single text message and happy mother’s day wish I received was like a ray of sunlight.  more than anything today I just keep thinking about how thankful i am that i have these two little ones.  that god created them to be mine and jon’s and that we get to be their parents forever. every single movement inside me and every ache and pain is a reminder of what an honor it is to have this new title.  i get teary eyed just thinking about it.

to our babies -

i am so proud and joyful to be your mama already.  even though we have yet to meet, i feel like i already know you.  your daddy and i have waited so long to know you, and we’ve never been more thankful for anything in our lives.   i promise to do everything i can to be the best mama i can be to you.  i will definitely make mistakes and you’ll have to show me some grace (you know this is my first time).  i pray that you’ll see jesus in me and that you’ll learn from me to love others like he loves us.  i hope to show you the world and teach you that god has made every person special regardless of what they look like on the outside or how much money they have.  i hope you never doubt how much i love you and that you always know i’m here for you no matter what.  i can’t wait to meet you, but please stay in there for and get bigger and stronger for at least 8 more weeks!

lots of love, mama

another sweet part of today was getting to wish a happy mother’s day to my mom and mother-in-law.  i feel so blessed to have such amazing moms who love jon and i unconditionally and who have sacrificed so much for us over the years. for the twins i hope i can be as sacrificial and loving as they have been.  then i will definitely count myself a successful mama.  happy mother’s day mom and debbie.  i love you both!

lastly, this day was a reminder of the long wait and the pain of waiting to see how god would choose to give us babies.  it was a reminder of all those still out there wondering and waiting.  i remember vividly how difficult mother’s day can be when all you want is to be called mama, but you have no choice in the matter.  it feels so hurtful and hopeless.  so to any of you reading this who are feeling that pain today, i’m praying for you and i hope you remember that someday god will bless you in the greatest way possible.  it may not be how you imagined, but he has not forgotten you. and it will be worth the wait.

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26 and 27

week 26

week 27

Baby boy and baby girl are getting big!  They each weigh about 2 pounds and are about 14.5 inches long as of this week.  They’re doing all kinds of cool things now like sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing their little eyes and even sucking their fingers (source)!  It’s amazing to me how fast they are growing, and it makes me think about how fast they’re going to keep growing once they join us out here in the world.  Makes me sad thinking about it already, lol.

This was a pretty epic week because we had two showers!  They were both so perfect and definitely merit their own posts.  Along with that we received such sweet gifts from family and friends like our double stroller, carseats, crib mattresses, baby swing, lots of clothes and so many other things.  It has been the most exciting time!  Not that it’s just about getting stuff, but having all these things pile up in our little house is making everything seem so real and soooo close.

Technically we still have 13 weeks left until go time, but my doctor thinks the babies will come in early July rather than early August.  I’m not focusing on that too much though because I’m thinking it could make for a really long July if they decide to stay in there.  And of course the longer they stay in there (within reason:), the better!

They are definitely making themselves known though.  Moving around all the time and of course giving me lots of aches and heartburn.  Oh heartburn.  Sleeping has become quite interesting as well of course as it’s become somewhat of an olympic sport just to roll over in bed.  Oh, and my ankles and feet have already decided to start swelling up.  I look down and think “who’s legs are these??!” because they surely cannot be mine.  It’s weird to feel like you’re wearing somebody else’s legs.  I honestly cannot quite imagine what I’m going to feel/look like in about 6-8 weeks.

But how I love this bump.  I love getting to be with our little babies all the time, taking them with me everywhere I go.  Despite the discomfort of nighttime, I look forward to it every evening because I get to just spend time feeling the babies and thinking about every aspect of what they’re going to be like.  I don’t think anything will ever quite compare to this time…having them inside me and getting to experience so much of them.  I think the love surrounding them multiplied times 100 this week with all our friends and family celebrating them.  It was the best ever.

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